Happy Birthday Nichole & Michele #17

I decided that I would Journal about my pregnancy with the twins so that I could have it recorded.

Kirk and I found out that we were expecting on December 19, 1991. We were so excited about having a baby. We had decided when we got married in September that we would put having a baby into the Lord's hands. So three months later we found out the exciting news.

Dad wanted you to be a boy and I didn't care either way. My doctor was Dr. Steven Fielding.

On February 21, I had a Dr. appointment. I was excited because I knew that I would probably be able to hear the baby's heartbeat. Dad had to go to work so when I dropped him off to work and just jokingly I said to Dad, "What if the doctor finds two heartbeats?" Dad didn't think the question was a very funny one and said that if they did find two, that I wasn't to come home.

So I went to my appointment and had the usual getting weighed and measured. When Dr. Fielding measured my tummy he asked " Are you sure you are only fourteen weeks along?" And I said as far as I knew, I'm only that far along. The Dr. decided that they better do an ultrasound and see how far along I was for sure. The Dr placed some gel on my stomach and then moved around a small instrument all over my stomach. And to all of our surprise, we found TWO babies. I was going to have twins!! I always wanted twins since I can remember. I have identical twin girl cousins on my Mom's side and I have identical twin great aunts on my Dad's side.

Now I had to figure out how I was going to tell Dad. During the ultrasound, I was able to get a couple of "Proof" pictures so that I could show Dad. It took us a while for Dad to be found but when he came in from the back I said "Would you like to see a picture of our BABIES?" Quite a shock, but now came the task of buying everything in duplicate.

If you were boys your names were going to be Mark and Kyle
If you were one boy and one girl you were going to be Mark & Michele
If you were girls your names would be Michele & Nichole

Since we were expecting twins, our Dr. wanted us to see a twin specialist up north. So in between our normal appointments here in Cedar City, we would drive up to Provo.

Our first visit to Provo, we had another ultrasound (One of many) in this ultrasound they would measure each of your heads, thighbones, and abdomen size to determine how each of you were growing. We also were able to find out that we were having Identical Twin Girls.

Since you are identical twins you are in the same sack, but even though you are in the same sack there should be a small membrane to separate you from each other. They weren't able to see that membrane and that was a concern. The plan was that on our next appointment they would shoot an air bubble into my stomach and see if it was blocked by the membrane or not.

Now that we knew that you are girls we started calling you by you names. Nichole was on the left side and Michele was on the right. Dad would lay his head on my stomach and read you bedtime stories.




We're down to less than three months to go. Mom went to see Dr. Fielding and we were able to hear both of your heart beats. In a few days we will head back up to Provo for another appointment.

We went to our appointment today in Provo Grandma Evers came along so that she could see you and during that appointment found out that you hadn't made it. What a shock. What happened was called twin to twin transfusion, which happens in only 1 in 100 of identical twins which is quite rare. It's when the twins share everything, the same sack, the same placenta, and the same umbilical cord which is where the problem occurred when the umbilical cords got pinched off.

We headed back home so that we could have our families with us.

On May 7, 1992 we went to the hospital. I remember that while I was in the hospital waiting to go into labor that my nurse, Caralee, gave me a booklet to read to help us deal with our loss. She suggested that we hold you. I remember thinking that I couldn't do that because I wouldn't want to remember you that way. After almost eleven hours of hard labor our babies were delivered. You were so perfect in every way. The nurses wrapped you up in blankets and I held you both, touched your fingers and held your little hands, I could see that you were two perfect little angels that just needed a body so that you could go back home to Heavenly Father.

One of my greatest memories was of my Dad (your Grandpa) holding each of you. You each hold a special place in his heart.

One of the worst days of my life, ended up to be a very wonderful and spiritual experience. How grateful we are to know that because we were married in the Temple that we will be able to be with you again. Something to look forward to.

Here are a couple of poems that I really enjoyed from the booklet that I read in the hospital:

Please don't tell them you never got to know me.

It is I whose kicks you will always remember,
I who gave you heartburn that a dragon would envy.
I who couldn't seem to tell time and got your days and nights mixed up.
It is I who acknowledged your craving for peach ice cream by knocking the cold bowl off your belly.
I who went shopping and helped you pick out the "perfect" teddy bear for me,
I who liked to be cradled in your belly and rocked off to dreamy slumber by the fire.
It is I who never had a doubt about your love.
It is I who was able to put a lifetime of joy into an instant.

Until you I never knew there were so many babies.
I see them everywhere...babies in arms, at grocery stores, church, the park, on our block.
I am guessing but somehow know some are just your days had you stayed.
Mothers stare sometimes because I do... one looked curious so I asked, "How old?" And she was one month later than you born.
I shall always see you...little girls at ten...later the blush and bloom of teens...then the coming of grace and dignity of woman.
But wait, let I forget in fleeting time how soon I shall know you.